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Sh*tshow 2012: The Credits

Sun, 14 Oct 2012 18:09:00 -0400

The Punch

Sex on the Beach in a Pitcher, Ryan Sibley.

Ingredients: Orange vodka (or tequila), pineapple juice, peach schnapps, triple sec, cranberry juice, ginger ale. Figure out quantities for yourself.

The Music

S-show 2012, a Spotify playlist, Ryan Sibley with Justin Rood. Our contribution to society.

The Food

1914 Beenie Weenie, Justin Rood with Ryan Sibley.

Ingredients: Four cans pork and beans; two packages hot dogs, sliced into thin discs; one package bacon; chopped onion; A1 (spicy) sauce; ketchup; mustard.

1. Empty pork and beans from cans into slow cooker.

2. In a skillet, fry up the bacon; remove from pan, break into pieces.

3. Sautee onion in bacon grease. Remove and set aside with bacon bits.

4. Fry hot dog pieces in bacon grease. Combine fried hot dog, leftover grease, bacon, onions into slow cooker with pork and beans.

5. Season with A1, ketchup, mustard to taste. Optional: brown sugar.

Beer: Stroh’s, National Bohemian, Miller Lite

Thanks, all. Until next year, or your probation officer says it’s okay.

The tag applied to the side of my house last night

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 09:54:30 -0500

The tag applied to the side of my house last night

Cookiefist 2010: The Credits

Sun, 12 Dec 2010 21:52:19 -0500

The Cookies (in order of appearance)

Toffee Squares - epicurious.com
Chocolate Kisses - marthastewart.com (modified)
Noel Nut Balls - marthastewart.com
Ginger Spice Cookies - epicurious.com
Chewy Orange-Almond Cookies - marthastewart.com (modified)
Peanut Butter Blossoms - foodnetwork.com

The Punch

Ingredients: mulling spices, orange, lemon, sugar, water, seltzer or club soda, sparkling cider, cranberry juice, spiced rum.

1. In a saucepan, combine one package of mulling spices with the peels of one orange and one lemon, two cups of water, one cup of sugar. Simmer 20 minutes or so. Strain liquid, let cool. (This is “the good stuff.”)

2. To make the punch, mix one cup of “the good stuff” with one liter of seltzer or club soda; one bottle of sparkling apple cider; one bottle of cranberry or cranapple juice; and as much spiced rum as you like.

Peregrine Coffee to Land in Logan

Fri, 10 Sep 2010 09:48:23 -0400

New java joint for 14th - Peregrine Coffee is slated to open next to Cork restaurant, just north of R St, reports Prince of Petworth. Yet another cafe with no apparent plans to sell coffee thru a take-out window or outside stall, leaving uncaffeinated dog walkers forsaken. :( (h/t PoP)

Because your butt is too small

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 11:45:00 -0400

New York’s famous Shake Shack is opening up a location in ~~Gallery Place~~ Dupont Circle, in the space now occupied by Fuddruckers. So says Prince of Petworth.

Facebook Moment of Zen

Mon, 19 Jul 2010 13:19:47 -0400

New! Burgers on U

Mon, 19 Jul 2010 11:15:00 -0400

Coming soon to a former Polly’s near (on) U - a burger joint. That delivers! (h/t U Street Girl). No word on opening date. Looking forward to the cowboy theme, however — almost as good as having pirate bar in the neighborhood.

New Eats for U St/Logan

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 10:55:46 -0400

Mexican, Thai, Spanish and a mystery are on their way — and bocce’s here already.

Mexican - a 274-seat tacqueria is coming to 14th St. next to the Black Cat, in the space formerly occupied by Georgetown Refinishing. (Prince of Petworth)

Thai - a new Thai joint, Teak Wood, is coming to the 1300 block of 14th St., below P. (Borderstan)

Spanish - The new pintxos spot, Estadio, is slated to open in minutes. My tastebuds can’t wait. (Metrocurean)

Mystery - The former Garden District spot, once rumored to become a burger joint, then crepe place, then nothing, is seeing activity. A permit notice posted lists “BCI Food Services LLC” as the applicant. (PoP)

Bocce - Vinoteca now has a back patio, complete with bocce court. (The indomitable PoP)

Facebook Moment of Zen

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 09:53:28 -0400

Sex, Laws and Washington

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 18:36:47 -0400

It’s apparently a common claim that Washington, D.C. law forbids sexual intercourse in any position other than missionary. (For example; or here; or here.)

D.C. code is online, and some (take it from me) thorough searching could find no such law.

However.

It did turn up some good material from the city’s obscenity statute, governing what can and can’t be produced, sold, marketed, or shown to minors. Its author started off with his tie a little loosened, but picks up steam:

(B) The term “nudity” includes the showing of the human male or female genitals, pubic area or buttocks with less than a full opaque covering, or the showing of the female breast with less than a full opaque covering of any portion thereof below the top of the nipple, or the depiction of covered male genitals in a discernibly turgid state.

(C) The term “sexual conduct” includes acts of sodomy, masturbation, homosexuality, sexual intercourse, or physical contact with a person’s clothed or unclothed genitals, pubic area, buttocks, or, if such person be a female, breast.

(D) The term “sexual excitement” includes the condition of human male or female genitals when in a state of sexual stimulation or arousal.

(E) The term “sado-masochistic abuse” includes flagellation or torture by or upon a person clad in undergarments or a mask or bizarre costume, or the condition of being fettered, bound, or otherwise physically restrained on the part of one so clothed.

Bear Day.

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 14:45:35 -0400

Friends who have known me for some time are familiar with Bear Day. It’s an idea I had several years ago – and for which I often advocate, sometimes with the inspiration of beverage, and often during the summer tourist season.

The idea is pretty simple: Once a year, before sunrise on a foreordained day, several dozen live bears are gathered up and let loose on the city streets. From dawn to dawn they can roam unfettered. Citizens are not allowed to shoot the bears, although they may engage them in manual combat, if it is their wont (or last hope). In the wee hours of the following day, the bears are rounded up, drugged, and taken back to the wild. Life returns to normal.

The basic point of Bear Day is to remind human beings of the primal order of nature, and our place in the food chain. It would also be a day off of work and school – because who can go outside with bears roaming around? So it would be like Labor Day, except no one would ever forget what the day was about.

There are occasional news stories that seem to suggest that history is basically an inexorable march toward the establishment of Bear Day. I’ll post them when they crop up, without this windy explanation.

Today’s installation: bears.

Rich People's Problems

Thu, 08 Jul 2010 11:53:00 -0400

So where the !@#$ do I park my chopper: Indian kajillionaires Mukesh and Anil Ambani can’t build private helipads on their Mumbai mansions, due to a government order. The two men, estimated to be worth a combined $42 billion, recently ended a long-running feud with an agreement to share their family’s natural gas wealth. All that money, and they still have to look for helicopter parking like a peasant. So sad.

When genius fails: John Paulson, the hedge fund manager who made $20 billion betting that you and everyone you know will lose your homes, is down nearly 9% this year. Silver lining: turns out million-dollar bills are great for drying tears.

You can’t go home again: Billionaire accused fraudster Allan Stanford won’t get to leave prison before his trial, a judge ruled. The evidently snarky U.S. District Judge David Hittner wrote that although Houston’s federal pen is “much less ‘posh’ than Stanford prefers, there is no evidence that it is so burdensome as to impede his ability to prepare for trial.” Meanwhile, his ex-girlfriend/ex-employee isn’t having an easy time of it: she’s reportedly been barred from visiting Stanford in prison, she wasn’t allowed to retrieve belongings she left on his yacht before it was claimed by the government, and the lawyer hired to recover Stanford’s allegedly ill-gotten assets has targeted over a half-million dollars in wages Stanford paid her.

Overheard

Thu, 08 Jul 2010 11:19:18 -0400

Man walking down 13th St. in 100-degree heat: “Damn, I shoulda had a V-8. Now I know what they talkin’ bout!”

Post-Sensical Graphics

Tue, 06 Jul 2010 10:36:29 -0400

Am I the only one who struggles to grok Washington Post infographics?

(Yes, I’m wearing my grumpy old man hat this morning.) This chart accompanying today’s insightful piece by Paul Kane and T.W. Farnham is a case in point. I stared at it for a good two minutes trying to understand what it was supposed to illustrate. I’m staring at it again now. And I still can’t tell you.

Of course, a smart-aleck would point to the captions and say, “doesn’t it illustrate that New Yorkers are cutting back their donations to Democrats, while Texans are giving more to Republicans?”

And the answer is yes, it does show that. But it shows a lot of other data also, none of which gives a clear picture of anything. Big circles, little circles, circles within circles, circles around circles… It might be useful to a historian of political fundraising, or a party strategist, but to a man of average intelligence and context (I optimistically put myself in that category), it looks like pretty raindrops. For the rest of us, those captions would probably be better off without the accompanying chart, which only makes our eyes water.

The sad thing is, good infographics can sometimes tell a story better than a well-written article. The New York Times excels at this. Even some blogs have done well — my favorite recent example is this chart from Talking Points Memo, showing the many iterations of BP’s “evolving” estimates of oil leakage in the Gulf of Mexico.

The world is becoming more image-oriented by the day, so telling stories through graphics is becoming increasingly vital for any news org. So why doesn’t the Post get it right?

World's lamest iPhone app

Fri, 02 Jul 2010 15:25:58 -0400

“Dental Expert.” It is what it sounds like. Free today on iTunes. Don’t hurt yourself rushing for the “download now” button.

New Brew Review

Fri, 02 Jul 2010 11:01:51 -0400

Meridian Pint opened in Columbia Heights last night. Great beer, good crowd, friendly staff, pool! And great onion rings, I’m told, though I didn’t try them myself. Check it out.

The real Russian spy mystery

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 18:53:00 -0400

…Which D.C. restaurant did Mikhail Semenko use to slip intel to his Russian handler?

The Justice Department complaint says that on June 5th, Semenko — one of the 11 alleged Russian “deep cover” spies arrested by FBI agents this week — took a seat at a Washington, D.C. restaurant, and waited to transmit secret data to his Russian handler.

But prosecutors do not name the restaurant, and give only one clue to its identity: It has a parking lot. That’s where, according to the prosecutors, Semenko’s Russian handler, a diplomat, stopped his car for 20 minutes, and then drove away again. (Prosecutors say the diplomat had with him a wireless device that pulled signals being sent from Semenko’s computer.)

So which restaurant was it? We really need to know — Washington hasn’t had a good spy-friendly joint since Pied de Cochon in Georgetown became a Five Guys. (Pied de Cochon was where KGB spy Vitaly Yurchenko slipped his US handlers by crawling out the bathroom window, whereupon he redefected to the Soviet Union.)

For overnight fans of this spy caper, the complaint offers at least two other landmarks: One, the corner of 10th an H Streets NW (see map), where an FBI undercover agent posing as a Russian handler allegedly arranged to meet Semenko on June 26. (It was a daring spot for a Russian spy to meet, being a stone’s throw from both FBI and Secret Service headquarters.)

The other is a nearby park — whose exact location isn’t given — to which Semenko and the undercover agent walked after meeting up. The closest large park is Franklin Park, though there are smaller patches of greenery in the vicinity.

A final note on the location of the restaurant: Associated Press reported it was “blocks from the White House,” but that seems unlikely, for two reasons: first, how many restaurants mere blocks from the White House feature their own parking lot? Second, the reporter cites no authority for the characterization, which suggests he extrapolated it (incorrectly) from the complaint. But who knows.

The garbanzo debate rages

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 11:45:00 -0400

Yum: Grilled Blue Cheese and Bacon Quesadillas

Tue, 29 Jun 2010 10:40:00 -0400

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 12:27:00 -0400